Road Bumps

This is an over share, you are being warned.

So we've hit some road bumps along way. Last week while Adam was at daycare I could not pump enough to meet what he drinks in his bottles. Of course this upset me which then made pumping even worse. Pumping is best accomplished while relaxed because being stressed is a sure way to prevent milk from coming down.  Hannah was kind enough to lend an ear on multiple occasions and offer advice.  I drank plenty of water, tried to sleep more, and did my best to relax while pumping.

For me, pumping is really related to stress. Breaking away from the go-go-go mentality of patient care at the hospital is stressful enough. I've learned that I have to take the 20 minutes of pumping and use them just for me. I don't return pages, I have one of my colleagues carry the service pager. I just focus on pictures of Adam and let my body do it's work.

Maybe part of the difficulty is also realizing that I won't be nursing Adam forever.  Adam and I have been really fortunate that nursing has worked well for the both of us so far. I plan to wean Adam when he is one and is able to drink regular milk. Part of me felt that my body was failing me after 8+ months of nursing. And that was the most distressing part.  Seems really silly actually to state that out loud because I know it's not true. I just wasn't mentally prepared to stop before the one year mark.

And this week we are doing well. Adam is nursing well and I've been pumping great. But who knows what tomorrow brings. And honestly it doesn't matter what next week brings because we will be ready for it. I know Adam and I will be perfectly happy and healthy no matter how Adam is fed. Maybe the speed bump last week was just a way to let me prepare for the inevitable. And truthfully I feel better prepared mentally for what will happen.